


Gummiphone Shenanigans

by peachsmoothie



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, Multi, gay as in an umbrella term think of it as you will, im bad at fitting things into canon, imagine this takes place at like the beginning of kh3 idk, this is why i never post what i write, we out here writing chatfics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 07:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19902310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsmoothie/pseuds/peachsmoothie
Summary: a compilation of chatlogs from the destiny trio and the fourth wheel lea "dark rescue" kingdom heartslea isn't in the first chatlog, sorry :< he'll be in the next one thopaopu princess ⭐🍃 - kairiChosen Bisexual - sora (yeah i did it)Darkness Dementia Dawn - riku (this is hilarious please laugh)





	1. Gummiphone Shenanigans 01

paopu princess ⭐🍃: guys?  
Chosen Bisexual: What's up?  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Is everything okay?  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: not really  
Chosen Bisexual: What's going on?  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Do we need to come get you?  
Chosen: Bisexual: Are you hurt?  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: no no guys i'm fine  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: just a little down is all  
Chosen Bisexual: Any particular reason?  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: mm  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: don't laugh at me  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: You know we wouldn't  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: i just miss you guys  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: i finally got you both back and now we're split up again  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: You have to train, dear  
Chosen Bisexual: Yeah! Then when Master Yen Sid thinks you've learned enough, we can go places together!  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: And split up the Trinity Trio? Damn Kai, he really loves you  
Chosen Bisexual: Hey! >:c I like travelling with Donald and Goofy, but... that's what we were gonna do from the beginning, remember?  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: explore other worlds together...  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: I'm not much of a fan of remembering that part of my past  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: which parts exactly?  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Thinking the darkness would make me stronger, siding with Maleficent, y'know  
Chosen Bisexual: You talk as if you weren't manipulated into doing any of that. :T  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Regardless how much of it was my own choices versus what I was told to do, I still hold myself accountable for all of it  
Chosen Bisexual: >:T Riku!  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: We're getting off track  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Kai, maybe we can video chat tomorrow? It's too late to now, but maybe tomorrow we can all call it a day earlier than usual  
Chosen Bisexual: I'm game!  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: that'd be nice...  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: i wish we could end up on the same world, even just for a little while  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Hey  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: This won't last forever  
Chosen Bisexual: Yeah! Once everything settles down, and the worlds are in balance again, we can spend so much time together that you get sick of us. c:  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: sick of you?  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: You mean shey'll be sick of *you*  
Chosen Bisexual: Aw c'mon, you know we get on her nerves together. c:  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: you two do tend to pick on each other as your way of flirting  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: it's cute  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Flirting? Hardly  
Chosen Bisexual: He just doesn't wanna admit he loves me in writing so I can't hold the evidence over his head later. c:  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: for boyfriends you two sure don't act like you get along lol  
Chosen Bisexual: We'll be good next time. We'll just focus on cheering you up by making you laugh other ways!  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: I'm not a comedian, Sora  
Chosen Bisexual: You still tend to make her smile more than most anyone.  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: I should say the same for you  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: probably because you're both my boyfriends and you both make me smile  
Chosen Bisexual: So that settles it. Operation: Cheer up Kai is on!  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: lol  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: i wonder when that will be...  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: We'll be back from our missions before you know it  
Chosen Bisexual: In the meantime, kick Lea's butt in training for us! c:<  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: no promises  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: merlin has noticed  
Chosen Bisexual: Noticed?  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: he noticed that i've been down the past few days :/ he said i've been off my game  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Don't tell Master Yen Sid  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: He'll make a lesson out of not letting your emotions affect your ability to fight  
Chosen Bisexual: That's not exactly easy...  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: i can handle it  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: I know you can  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: You're our badass princess  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: ///////  
Chosen Bisexual: Oh look, the rare mushy Riku!  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: It's not mushy, it's true  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: you're sweet  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Meh  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: thanks guys... i feel a bit better  
Chosen Bisexual: I'm glad!  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Happy to be of assistance  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: i love you  
Chosen Bisexual: Love you too!  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: You too princess  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: i think i'm gonna try to sleep... i'm exhausted from training  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Sleep well  
Chosen Bisexual: You got our jackets still?  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: mhm they help me sleep ♡  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: That's adorable  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: hehe //////  
Chosen Bisexual: We'll talk tomorrow, ok?  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: m'kay  
paopu princess ⭐🍃: goodnight ☆  
Chosen Bisexual: Night, princess~  
Darkness Dementia Dawn: Goodnight


	2. Gummiphone Shenanigans 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> told ya lea would show up!
> 
> Johnny Storm 🔥 - lea  
> meme qween - kairi  
> Sora(d) - sora  
> wiku - riku

Johnny Storm 🔥 added meme qween, Sora(d), and wiku to the chat.   
  
Johnny Storm 🔥 changed the group name to "Guardians who arent comatose, possessed, or otherwise missing"   
  
meme qween: wow, harsh?   
wiku: Where is the king   
Johnny Storm 🔥: u would ask that   
wiku: What's that supposed to mean   
Johnny Storm 🔥: lets be real   
Johnny Storm 🔥: we add mickey, the jokes become pg   
Sora(d): I'm 16! I'm not allowed to see Rated R content!   
meme qween: sora i remember for a fact you have snuck into multiple r-rated movies >.>   
Sora(d): That's besides the point!   
wiku: In Sora's defense, this is Lea we're talking about...   
Johnny Storm 🔥: wHaTs ThAt SuPpOsEd To MeAn?   
wiku: And so it begins   
Johnny Storm 🔥: u must be wondering why i brought u all here   
meme qween: it wasn't just to show us you changed your name to a forgotten B-grade superhero?   
Johnny Storm 🔥: JOHNNY STORM IS FAR FROM B-GRADE, LITTLE MISS.   
wiku: That's debatable   
Sora(d): Isn't that the Human Torch?   
Johnny Storm 🔥: yes   
Sora(d): So... Why not just make your name "The Human Torch"?   
Johnny Storm 🔥: bc fuck u thats why   
Sora(d): Jeez Louise...   
Johnny Storm 🔥: and what abt u huh?   
Johnny Storm 🔥: tf is "Sora(d)"?   
Sora(d): Cause if you add a "d" at the end it says "so rad"! Like me!   
Johnny Storm 🔥: lame   
wiku: Will you just tell us why you added us to this dumpster fire of a chat   
Johnny Storm 🔥: always the party pooper   
meme qween: he's not wrong :/   
wiku: I am not a party pooper   
Sora(d): WHY ARE WE HERE!?   
Johnny Storm 🔥: i want food   
wiku: And that's something we need to know, why?   
Johnny Storm 🔥: bring me food   
Johnny Storm 🔥: wendys   
meme qween: lea no one is getting you wendy's   
Johnny Storm 🔥: :'(   
Johnny Storm 🔥: but im soooo hungryyyyy   
Sora(d): Didn't we all eat a few hours ago?   
Johnny Storm 🔥: i   
Johnny Storm 🔥: i'm just hungry again ok   
wiku: he's high   
Johnny Storm 🔥: MAYBE SO   
meme qween: oh sweet cherrybomb   
meme qween: no one is bringing you wendy's no matter how high you are   
Johnny Storm 🔥: sora ur my only hope here   
Sora(d): I'm gay I can't drive   
Johnny Storm 🔥: NOOOOOOOOO   
Johnny Storm 🔥: wait   
Johnny Storm 🔥: i found barbecue chips   
meme qween: where exactly...?   
Johnny Storm 🔥: uh   
Johnny Storm 🔥: my bed   
wiku: Unsurprising   
Johnny Storm 🔥: eat my ass   
wiku: I'm a child   
Johnny Storm 🔥: like hell   
Sora(d): I'm telling Yen Sid!!!!!!!   
Johnny Storm 🔥: all of u r awful   
meme qween: excuse me?   
Johnny Storm 🔥: u heard me   
Johnny Storm 🔥: just the worst   
Sora(d): :c   
wiku: That's fair


	3. Gummiphone Shenanigans 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ngl this is based on a drawing i did once that people seemed to like so i wrote this
> 
> Gettin' Bi - sora  
> Cherrybomb I/Hibiscus Princess 🌺 - kairi  
> Cherrybomb II/Firelord Ozai 🔥- lea  
> Fuck's sake I need a nap - riku

Gettin’ Bi added Cherrybomb I,Cherrybomb II, and For fuck’s sake I need a nap to the chat.

Gettin’ Bi: Hey guys?

Gettin’ Bi: Legitimate question.

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Sora it’s 3:13am

Cherrybomb I: everything okay?

Gettin’ Bi: No, yea, I’m okay. I just have a question.

Cherrybomb I: yes?

Gettin’ Bi: Would it be selfcest if someone dated their nobody?

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Excuse me?

Cherrybomb I: why on earth are you asking us this?

Gettin’ Bi: I’m just curious!

Cherrybomb I: are you saying you find roxas attractive?

Gettin’ Bi: WHAT? NO! It was hypo… hypothes…

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Hypothetical?

Gettin’ Bi: Yea, that! It was hypothetical.

Cherrybomb II: i ship it

Gettin’ Bi: I’M NOT ATTRACTED TO ROXAS!

Cherrybomb II: dw dude u have my permission

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Since when was your permission even required?

Cherrybomb II: since i adopted roxas

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: On what planet are you capable of sustaining life, you can barely sustain your own

Cherrybomb II: the world that never was, for starters

Cherrybomb I: technically speaking, that world doesn’t exist anymore…

Cherrybomb II: technically speaking, i don’t CARE

Cherrybomb I: someone’s cranky~

Gettin’ Bi: It’s so hard to tell the difference between you both.

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Gotta say, I agree

Cherrybomb I changed their name to Hibiscus Princess 🌺

Cherrybomb II changed his name to Firelord Ozai 🔥

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Oh my god

Firelord Ozai 🔥: is there a problem

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: No

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: No problem at all

Hibiscus Princess 🌺: we marathoned the last airbender last week. my bad. :T

Firelord Ozai 🔥: bow to ur firelord

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Oh my god it’s literally 3:41am can we please go to sleep

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Don’t the two of you have training tomorrow

Hibiscus Princess 🌺: sleep is for the weak!

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: You literally sleep like ten hours a day

Hibiscus Princess 🌺: never said i was strong .w.

Firelord Ozai 🔥: tf is sleep

Firelord Ozai 🔥: never heard of it

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Sora has the right idea. Pretty sure he fell asleep

Gettin’ Bi: No I’n a wake!

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Are you

Gettin’ Bi: Yra

Hibiscus Princess 🌺: awwh, cutie ♡

Gettin’ Bi: <3

Firelord Ozai 🔥: ur all gay

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Coming from you, that’s hilarious

Firelord Ozai 🔥: king of the gays 🏳️‍🌈

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Can I sleep now

Hibiscus Princess 🌺: okay, goodnight my knight ♡

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: G’night princess

Firelord Ozai 🔥: gaaaaaay

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Fuck you

Firelord Ozai 🔥: sorry sweets ur not my type

Hibiscus Princess 🌺: lea be nice~

Firelord Ozai 🔥: fine

Firelord Ozai 🔥: nighty night cherrybomb

Hibiscus Princess 🌺: nighty night cherrybomb! ♡

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: What, no goodnight for me?

Firelord Ozai 🔥: not in a million years, slick

For fuck’s sake I need a nap: Fair enough

Hibiscus Princess 🌺: play nice boys :3c

Firelord Ozai 🔥: yes ma’am

Hibiscus Princess 🌺: hehe~


	4. Gummiphone Shenanigans 04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let's skip forward for a bit, this one is super sad and takes place after the events of kh3 (a little edited bc personally i'm still not happy abt riku's reaction) and i may or may not have cried when i wrote it
> 
> anyway lea is cherrybomb and he's messaging kairi's gummiphone

Cherrybomb: miss u cherrybomb  
Cherrybomb: i had to pull those idiots apart after  
Cherrybomb: i think they were both crying  
Cherrybomb: i think i was crying  
Cherrybomb: ive lost a lot of people in my life  
Cherrybomb: losing u was just another loss my heart couldnt take  
Cherrybomb: sometimes i think its a flaw  
Cherrybomb: my heart easily succumbs to loss  
Cherrybomb: maybe im not cut out for this keyblade wielder thing  
Cherrybomb: i mean xemnas did take my blade  
Cherrybomb: im sorry  
Cherrybomb: i couldnt protect u  
Cherrybomb: and i lost my cherrybomb cuz im a fucking fool  
Cherrybomb: xion keeps saying not to blame myself  
Cherrybomb: says i blame myself too much for losing others  
Cherrybomb: but after so long u kinda gotta ask urself  
Cherrybomb: am i really losing all these people cuz of coincidence?  
Cherrybomb: i dont think so  
Cherrybomb: i could count the number of people ive lost over the years on two hands  
Cherrybomb: two  
Cherrybomb: im what 26?  
Cherrybomb: shit i cant even remember my own age  
Cherrybomb: what am i gonna do kairi


End file.
